First Kiss

That first kiss
We shared

In the backseat of a car
Or a basketball court
In front of the latte place

You were there
And I was there

Under a fort of covers
At the drive-in movies
Nestled in a beach cave

In my dreams

Where our music flowed
Poems of love
Rewrote my life

One Constant

Who you are
Keeps me

Our Kiss

I love your lips
Slightly parted, and moist

They remind me of my pussy

I kiss them
Ravenously

Close

I want to be alone
Alone with my addictions
Alone with my writing
Alone to indulge myself


I delve deeper into
My selfish thought life
With no accountability
No restrictions,

Only my imagination
Can bind me

And I am bound

I’ve been jaded… jailed
Don’t care about people anymore
Don’t care to bother with those
Who couldn’t fathom me
Who can’t handle me

Don’t care to trust
Evermore anymore

I met Love before - maybe once or twice
It’s elusive, fleeting, a feeling
in this catastrophe of a world
there are no kept promises
Nothing "forever"

There are The Heathens and The Beggars and The Prostitutes
The Lonely, the Shameful
The Children: fearful and neglected - needy
we are all them

　
And these are my words of optimism

untitled

The haze in the air
Hovers over me
Pressing me
oppressing me

I am lifted into another reality
Free from the confines
Of my body

We make love
In the space between us

The air
The light
Is our love

the time
the distance
is our love

the nostalgia
our youth
is our love

every perception
every reality
everything
is our love

Now what lingers
Is our fragrance

Satisfied mouths
sweat-drenched bodies
Tired and trembling
Drunk on eachother

We rest
In our love
　

　

untitled

You are cruel
To me
Teasing me

Rejection thrills me
I take what I want
Never politely

You know
You’ve always known
Me
To be insatiable

Now, my heart is cold for you
You have hardened me
it’s time for your punishment
There will be no mercy

writhe in agony, little girl
Face your destruction
Like a man

Do you enjoy the
humiliation and suffering?

That was not my intention.

Running

I want to run into your arms

I am not afraid anymore

to let you 

love me

What took me so long?

I know you will catch me

[but will you chase me

When I run away from you]

We can climb the tallest tree

And build a fortress

Wrapped in vines of our love

I am not afraid anymore

You have always been there for me

Why did I not see this before?

I let everything go

I want to let you close to me

Feel you against my soft belly

You make me feel

You make me feel real

Anyone could use their words

I gaze deeply into your eyes

There is nothing articulate that I see

I see a love longer than eternity

And deeper than the widest sea

I see vulnerability that nourishes

My every need

That is what you are to me

When I let you fill me

That is what you do to me

Gone Away

You been away too much

So much so that I covet

Your side of the bed

When you’re gone

I sink my face deep into your pillow

Inhaling the musky down notes

Of your remnants

I melt into your impression

Your side feels like you

I don’t know how you leave yourself behind

Holding onto me

Keeping me company

Cradling me fully with indulgent love

When you are away

We sleep together

In my dreams

I imagine our limbs woven leisurely

Memories float through me

Your scent lingers on me

No matter where you are

You are still my home

A Moment

Words cannot be replace

Naked vulnerability

Seeing and being seen

In the light of day

In the darkest of nights

I caught a glimpse of you

One time

I watched you sleep

Your body draped over my bed

I admired your inherent beauty

Your soul came to say hello to me

You took deep breaths

Let them out slowly

Your chest raised and lowered in a rhythmic cadence

Peaceful, contented

Your gratified cock

Was flaccid and beautiful

In that moment

I wanted to devour it again

A portrait of you

Remains in my mind

For only me to see you

All of you, in your nakedness

I wonder if you knew what I would see of you

The next morning

When, at night, you had me bent over

Fucking my ass like no tomorrow

For us, there was no tomorrow

But a moment

There was a moment

Untitled Love

A feeling

Enigmatic

A kept secret

With a flush

Of my skin

You have stolen me

Glistening eyes

You gaze into my eyes

You are my home

And my universe

You have

All my love

Untitled Love

Oh, you

You who I can’t ignore

Anymore

You who got me

I am yours

You

Are my always

My forever

More

I tried to hold

Back

And

You held me back

And so forth and so on

You, I cannot keep you

Out

So, come

Come on
Come in

Again

And

Again

Untitled

Was it worth it?

Dreams and memories

No longer

Yours

Nothing is yours

Anymore

Floating ashes hover

Where rivers of your love-words once flowed

Something vague

Slipped away into the hallowness

A good-bye kiss

Her

Every man wants a woman
Crazy enough
Enough to feel dangerous

The kind of woman you spend a lifetime
Trying to understand, contain
Tame
Grasp her

She permeates you like a good marinade
You indulgently soak yourself in her
In your consuming thoughts

You are her meat
butchered, raw and ready
You can’t get her out of your pores
How did she suck you in?

An unusual smile,
An easy, willing laugh
Something sexy and simple...
a fragrant nape
She is now in your bones

You put your hands on her
Touch her
Are you really touching her?
Do you know her?
What is she?

She’s is full of surprises
Shit, she may even be a man
Or a monkey or a prostitute
Or an illuminated cloud
Or a rock, or an entire bowl of ripe fruit
Or rest for when you are weary
…something rediculous

Have you ever really felt her?
Was she real to you?

She has something in common with everything
She’s been everywhere
And nowhere

She knows you real good
Because she is inside your head
She is now there forever
and more

Admit it
You are the one who permitted it
Changed for life
Taunted by mocking memories

Everything is nothing in comparison
You will never find another
As you compare again
And you always will

Untitled

Your husband doesn't like me
With good reason
I hate him
and
He sees how much you love me

We could go on for years like this and
I am sure we will

When he comes out of the closet
Or, for that matter,
When you do
I will be here

Picking up the pieces that were barely held together in the first place

To love you
And nurture you
To give you strength
And to do those things I already do

How many years will you waste?
10, 20... more?

Even if it is a whole life wasted
I will still accept you

Sometimes it takes that long
to find a place to call home

Untitled Love Poem

Your presence brings out my ineloquent side

When I look at you
Your pupils dilate
And your face glows
Reflecting the sun of our love

Your eyes widen supernaturally
And I jump into your buoyant liquid darkness

You take me in
Where others hide secrets
I find solace inside your dark pools of love

There is nothing I can say to capture this experience
I am simple and speechless
And you are steadfast in your love

Untitled

I thought I knew you, Love
But you were not who I thought you were

I learned so much about slavery and self-loathing
But nothing about You

Thinking is a waste of time
Why did I bother for so long?

Now that you touch me
Feeling is knowing

Thank You.

Untitled Love Poem

Nostalgic fragrances
Evening dew, fireplaces, and you
Mellow breezes in my face
Body memories stoke our heart fire

Knowing Love, your touch is Love
Good things come through you
Sweet completeness, Thank You
That we are One

2010

I do

I read what you wrote
about spooning her in your hotel room

Yes, I read what you write
I savor each syllable
and twist myself into your story

After all these years we loved each other
I should have been that girl

I feel so childish
That I even gave it a second thought
With all that's going on in the world
I am so preoccupied with the loss
of one embrace

And it is a real loss
Because now it's too late

On Selfishness

Maybe all this writing is just an exercise in frivolity
It will just sit in some journal, some file
Until I die

No one really wants to know the thoughts I have
No one wants to hear your thoughts either
People are too consumed with The Economy

This is why love has to be negotiated
So everyone gets their needs met
We are all vying for our rights

That’s okay
Selfishness gets you more love
That is just the way it is

You have to take what’s rightfully yours
No one is going to give it to you freely

There is no humor or irony here
Just cynicism and melancholy

There is a windstorm outside
I want to let it sting me
and blow my thoughts away

What's Real

I am over the fear of rejection
after all, I am a big girl now

And I really don't care if anyone believes me or not
Love does exsist
it is more than romantic notion

If it didn't exists, we could all stop searching for it all the time
The problem occurs when you realize you have never actually experienced it before

It is easy to say it doesn't exist, then
It is easy to say you don't need it then
It is easy to abstain from the only glimpses you have ever known
to hide your heart away for no one to touch

That is selfishness to the world
that its a love anorexic

There is power in it
But empty power
More like powerlessness

How ironic
I love irony
And I love how we were are all on the same journey

Some will stop
Some will move on
Some will die

We will all die, really
The question is: when?

Looking for The Real Thing

I do agree that most people are selfish
Especially when they are trying to love you
They consume you
It’s usually only for validation
How sad and pitiful
This is how evolved we are

Women searching for mothers and mentors
Men wanting to be mothered
Everyone is lacking in mother nurture
Maybe because we don’t expect anything of fathers anymore