Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Untitled

I am a love starved child
My needs are a bottomless pit
I am sickened with desperation
My deprivation runs so deep
Sometimes I wonder if I am really alive

Your love is so abundant, but I am whithering and empty
The rations are never enough
Still, I hang on to your love
Hoping that, somehow, you'll fill me up

Too much too fast could make my shrunken heart burst
So, I put my wall up
I don't know why you even try
To me, it all just feels like a real lie,
I wish it were true
But how could you love me and I love you?

My life doesn't work that way
Sounds much too easy
You must really hate me
And want to hurt me
I am sure, right now, you are laughing at me

All I want is to reach for your hand
But terror fills me up, not love
I shrink back, wanting to disappear
I think to myself that you would never understand
The word "receive" scares me
That might mean I want to feel

Behind my warmth and openness
I am numb and incapable
So, forgive me, but this is all of "love" that I really know