Push and Pull

Only moments left
To listen to Love
Songs sing of The Blues
Soulful words dancing about

Just a short while
We have
To muse and amuse
Now less time

Each of us has a place
To go
Something to be
Someone else

My wings are starting
Fluttering
My heart is aching
Wakening

For our parting
Proves
Our togetherness
It proves it, you know...

Not another
Fantasy
Delusion or
Illusion

I feel my strings
Pulled
By you
And push you back

The time has come.

Another Love Poem

I have been gathering up
random thoughts
you and me and us

Us against the world
Fully armed
Without Weapons

Powerful One
Oh
Powerful Loved One

My hands have grown thin
I see the bones and veins
Making me more vulnerable now

I find myself wanting
To eat
you like a slice of carrot cake

Cream cheese
Frosting
My lips

Lay with me
On my thread-bare blanket
In the shade of a tree, feel the cool breeze

Under the stars
The humid air sets
The sun

We lock eyes
Long enough
To blush

Our hands close enough
To touch
What will happen with us?

Unsettled.

I am ravenous
Searching, trifling desperately
I want

Something sweet, dark
Something luscious, uncontainable
My desires are thick, gluttonous

I'm pressed
In a wall, the corner of a wall
A caged animal, a potted vine
Searching for freedom

I'm surreal to myself
The world around me
I see in vignettes
Canvas oils and photographs

Feeling explosive
In my ugliness
I am most needy
I know you need me too

Feed me something to nourish my soul
Take me back to a time
When there was more time

I want to be over-full
Surrender in my den, a full sacrifice
I gorge myself on thoughts of you

Another Day

I am restless
my apathy transforming into frustrations
Partly due to insomnia
With a good measure of neurosis

I choose this perspective
To remain in control
There's more potential for productivity
less anxiety and self-pity

So I choose
I choose to breath in and
I breath out
I move my body and feel it

I do some things some therapist taught me to do
Nothing feels good enough - right
Until I make it my own
I try real hard; maybe that's my problem

Emotions are tricky
I wrestle with why I can't reconcile with myself
My expectations are too demanding
I want to believe in my inherent value

I am finding more pain than I want
I am feeling more sadness that I want
I am loving deeper than I knew I could
I am hating harder than I ever hated

I've abandoned all I've ever known
I'm right here, right now
You are mine for this moment
What will the sunrise bring?

More of you, less of you
More or less of us
One thing I know
We will be just fine.

And so we are. Just fine.

Lost

So many whys clutter my mind
I can't escape myself
My meandering thoughts linger
On your left-behind scent

The specifics are a well-kept secret
In my breasts, belly
My roots have been altered
It's that deep.

I will never forget it
I have a lifetime of regrets
That I deny
I refuse to discontinue as the truth is debilitating

Knowing smiles all around, mock me
Even the moon is chasing me down
There is nowhere to hide
My love flames still roar for you

They are being stoked
Deep in my belly
I am so, so crazy
For you.

Hold onto me like I've held onto you
In my mind, my memory is poor
And I still can see us
Laying next to each other in bed

Covered in you
In your element, in mine as well
We lay and I watch you
You and your tranquilizing inhale and exhale

We spend this time together so I can write about you later
I ruminate on how I bit your bottom lip
Drew one insignificant drop of blood
Savoring your metallic taste

I want more of you
Hear me now
Take me to bed tonight
Don't just tuck me in and say goodbye